all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Quick, to the slutcave!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
