Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
