Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
