Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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