I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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