I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
