I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
