I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
