I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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