is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
