is your mom at the bar?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
