where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
