yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize