why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
