I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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