**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize