I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
