don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
