i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
