Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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