singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
