It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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