all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
