STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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