38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
As shirtless as possible
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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