did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
