Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
