hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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