Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
