We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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