what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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