Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
