afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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