if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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