Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
