What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
