I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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