yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
