new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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