Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
