I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
