Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
