it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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