I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
