His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
