I hate your face
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
