Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
They took my balls.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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