I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
