did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
This toilet bowl is my home.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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