About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I have post one night stand depression
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
