Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
