oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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