Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
