About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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