like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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