I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
