I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
