Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
