I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
