why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
