This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
