chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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