Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have tasted many bathrooms
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dear god my vagina.
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