For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
