I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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