I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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