This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
