I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
