brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
