someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
