There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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