Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
