he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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