Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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